My Mind Keeps Playing Tricks On Me

And it’s driving me flipping crazy! One day, I’ll look in the mirror and I swear my chin is a little smaller. The next day, I’ll catch sight of my face in a new photo and I can’t believe how BIG my chin is. Same chin… 24 hours apart… and I go from thinking I’m making all of this progress to feeling like a big, fat (literally) failure. It happened again today. I put my jeans on right out of the dryer and they weren’t tight at all. They fit perfectly. I felt wonderful. 8 hours later, I saw two pictures of me, taken today, and all I could see was this great big, giant double chin. Have I made ANY progress at all??? Shave off my hair and I look exactly like my father… which is fine if you are a big strapping retired police officer… not so great for a middle-aged, frumpy Mom of five. 

So, I’m on vacation this week… here:

Image

And I don’t have full control over my food. I’m doing okay, but in no way have I been 100% Paleo. The two meals a day I do have control over have been Paleo, the third… eh… sometimes yes, sometimes not so much… nothing blatant until today’s Dixie Stampede dinner theater. 

One thing that SHOCKED me… the cravings have returned, which is probably why I wasn’t on top of my game at the dinner theater this afternoon. Last night was awful. I finally figured out what it was that I’m missing… fat! I would have killed for an avocado! I settled for 90% dark chocolate and carrots dipped in freshly ground almond butter. Frankly, at this point, I don’t know what the heck to do. I’m so new at this that travelling and doing Paleo is still hard. We leave tomorrow and I can tell you that as much as I love going on vacations, I will be thrilled to be back home and fully in control of my environment and exercise. I miss Crossfit!!! I miss the people who keep me going and I miss the coaches who push me to do more and lift more and do it all faster! 

I have five months until my next vacation. Hopefully, I’ll be better prepared and have more of a solid Paleo footing under me. I’m still trying… and perhaps for this perfectionistic all or nothing chick, that’s pretty good. 

🙂

 

 

Advertisements

So I Finally Ate My Cracker

I have the awful tendency towards perfectionism. My whole life I’ve been all or nothing, perfect or why even bother. My adult life has been spent trying to avoid the perfectionism trap and do the best that I can before moving on to the next thing. Since I started moving towards Paleo and avoiding wheat, I haven’t knowingly eaten anything with wheat (including all starches). I started joking about needing to just go ahead and eat a cracker so I wouldn’t have to stress about being perfect and wondering when I was going to blow it, and if that was going to be the end of Paleo. The stress increased knowing I was going on vacation. So… while I was traveling, I decided to go ahead and eat my cracker, get it over with, and move on. My cracker actually turned out to be a side order of fried okra. 

And now… I move on. I haven’t eaten anything else with wheat or wheaty starches. I’m no longer perfectly Wheat Free for “X” amount of days…  and I don’t know what “Day” this is because I stopped counting. THAT is pressure… counting how many days I’ve been “perfect.” But I’m hanging in and doing my best… and isn’t that what really matters. 🙂

PRs All Around!!!

Every so often, my gym does a Crossfit Total. We get our max 1reps on Backsquats, Strict Presses, and Deadlifts, then we add up the total of pounds. I’ve done this three times, today being the third. I was thrilled to see this WOD go up last night because it gives me concrete evidence that I’m getting stronger. Weights don’t lie. You can either lift more than you could before, or you can’t. And I can!!!

My previous one rep max on backsquat was 145#, but I knew it had gone up since then. I’ve done 155# several times during warm ups. Today, I got to push myself, and after bailing out on the bottom of the lift, I picked it all back up and tried again… and I did it… all the way up to 205#! I’m thrilled with this number, but at the same time, I can’t wait to see it go up. I’m only 5 months in, and I know my weight jumps will be less dramatic from here on out, but I want to know just how far I can go.

Image

I didn’t go up at all on my Strict Press, in fact, I went down 5#. I’m okay with that. I’m just about there and I’ve been fighting off an allergy/cold thing with herbal remedies, so maybe I just didn’t have those extra 5# in me today. I’m close enough so that there’s no shame. Next time…

I also PR’d on Deadlifts. My previous was 205# and I was shooting for 210#. I ended up at 225#. I had two failed attempts at 235#, and I got all the weights off the floor both times, I just couldn’t get my chest up and seal the deal. I think this is a form issue and with some practice, I’ll nail 235# with no problems!

All in all, I’m calling today a massive success and a tribute to what Crossfit can do in less than five months. And Coaches… I’m lucky/blessed enough to have amazing coaches!!!

Beginning Strict Press, ??? (I can’t find it, oops)… and Now, 105# (100# today)
Beginning Deadlift, 135#…. Now, 225#
Beginning Backsquat, 105#… Now, 205#

Less than FIVE MONTHS, my friends… I’m stunned!!!!

A New PR, Maybe Two

Yesterday at the gym, I had a chance to play around with Thrusters and find my one rep max. I ended up at 105#, which I was thrilled with. Thrusters were then used in the WOD, and I was able to do them at the Athlete weight or 55#. I’m continually freaked out about being able to do a few things at “The Athlete Weight” because I’m so far from looking like an “Athlete” it isn’t funny… but I’m getting there… and I will get there. I’m not as fast as other people yet, and my rounds are always fewer, but I am so far ahead of where I started, that it’s hard for me to imagine what I’ll be like in 6 months or a year from now. My brain just doesn’t go there yet. 

So last night, Thrusters must have been on my mind because when I was up at 2am dealing with a 6yo’s version of a catastrophic and life-altering foot pain that will leave him unable to continue with school the rest of the week, so he should just start Spring Break now… (I have imaginative children!)… I was going over my failed Thruster attempts at 110#. Suddenly, it occurred to me that for the first time ever, I got the dang bar up on my shoulders at 110#. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out what the heck that movement is called… going from a hang position, a little dip, then popping the bar up on your shoulders. I’ve been stuck at 105# for weeks. Best I can tell from youtube, is that what I did is a Hang Power Clean… and if they keep PRs for Hang Power Cleans… I got one of those yesterday too! Sweet!!! Aren’t weights fun!!!

I no longer remember what day I’m on with the Whole9/Paleo eating thing… 14, 15??  I’m doing pretty well… little smidgen of dairy here and there… and there was a tiny bit of sugar in that 90% dark chocolate square I ate… but since my Hubby finished the rest of the bar for me, guess I won’t worry about eating too much of that. lol! 

I’m still waiting for all of this to translate to my waist… or the scale for that matter, but I’m trying really, really hard to not even get on the dang thing. The few times I did, I just pretended the number was a tad higher because of my massive muscle-building efforts. lol!!! Seriously, it was probably just a little water retention and it will all sort itself out eventually. I haven’t been back on since… promise! It’s my waist that’s really bugging me. Everything else is looser, and some things are getting more than a bit baggy, but I can’t go to the next size down until I get at least 2 inches off my waist. Wth??? Don’t really have a plan except to keep doing what I’m doing, because eventually, it’s got to get smaller…. right??? Otherwise, I’ll just buy myself a pair of clown pants, with the big huge waist and the skinny legs, and go on tour. 😉 

Happy Tuesday, y’all!!! 🙂

 

I Love Snatches!

Not something I ever thought I would say… snatches… :giggle:… Almost as much fun as telling someone I’m going home to spatchcock a chicken. :roflmao: Spatchcocking a chicken means cutting out the backbone and cooking it flat. It’s oh-so-fun to say and then watch the expressions on peoples’ faces!!! Okay… okay… I’ll stop snickering. Clearly, I have an inner 12 year old boy. 😉

Seriously, today was my very first day ever doing Hang Power Snatches and I thought they were so much fun. It’s the first time I felt like I was really throwing weights up over my head. I’m sure my form left much to be desired… and my max was only 75 pounds. I wished I’d have gone for 85 just to see if I could do it. I bet I could have. I did the workout at 55, and I’m kicking myself for not doing 65… but I can assure you that since it was paired with a total of 100 push-ups, my arms will most certainly be feeling it tomorrow. 

My eating has stayed on track. I forget what day it is… 11, 12? Something like that. I’m still having cravings, and I’ve noticed they are much worse if I don’t eat enough protein. There was a smidgen of sugar in the square of 85% chocolate (listed as the 5th of 6 ingredients) I had with my tea last night… but I haven’t had any wheat. 

I’m a bit worried about what I’m going to eat for dinner since I’m heading into DC to drop off three of my five children for the weekend. The twins are staying home, which is good because Corey has pneumonia. I sent the poor guy to school, thinking he wasn’t all THAT bad, just so I could go to Crossfit before I took him to the docs. Oops! Mommy guilt on that one… but soooooo much Crossfit fun today! Can’t wait to do Snatches again!!! 🙂

 

 

Let’s Talk Numbers

I just finished Month 4 and I have a new set of stats. I took pictures, but the distance from the camera was different than the other pics, so I’ll have to retake them and post them later.

But before I get to my new numbers (probably next post, along with pics), there are a few old numbers I’ve been meaning to talk about. I have PCOS, a weird hormonal imbalance thing that sucks. It messes with all of my female hormones (my cycle), which in turn messes with my blood glucose levels, which then makes my body VERY efficient at packing on the pounds, particularly in the belly area. The good news is that it can be controlled with diet and exercise. The bad news is that I was NOT controlling it with diet and exercise… or even two different meds. Essentially, my metabolism was shutting down.

I also have a set of bloodwork 9 weeks into Crossfit. NINE weeks… 2 months and a week. What can happen in nine weeks? Even with NO dietary changes, turns out… A LOT!

Before Crossfit:
Fasting Glucose 93
A1c 6.2 (just .2 away from official Diabetes)

Nine Weeks into Crossfit:
Fasting Glucose 95
A1c 5.7

That’s a big jump down for my A1c in just 9 weeks, with NO dietary changes. I don’t have my initial Cholesterol numbers, but after 9 weeks:
Cholesterol 166
Triglycerides 122
HDL 43

Now… guys, you can skip the next paragraph!

The most telling marker for health (and metabolism) with PCOS is the overall length of the cycle. Normal is 28-36 days.
I just happened to start Crossfit right as one cycle was ending and another starting. I went from

105 Days…. to
55 Days… to
39 Days… to
29 DAYS!!!

In FOUR MONTHS, with no new medications and no dietary changes, I had a completely normal cycle and my metabolism is raring up and ready to go!!! It’s a MIRACLE!!!!

If you read my previous post, then you know I’ve started making those dietary changes… today is Day 7. I no longer feel like I’m going to die, but I do still have headaches off and on. I finished Wheat Belly, and it really helped me stay focused. I even made pancakes for one of the children’s sleepover breakfast and was fine. I’m going to try really hard to avoid the pitfalls of perfection (because Lord knows I’m a failed perfectionist who stubbornly keeps trying to be perfect!), and just do the best I can at any given moment in time.

My homework… keep doing what I’m doing, work on getting new pics, and come back and post about my fabulous Month 4 results!!!
See you at the box!!!
🙂

 

 

Quick Update Before I Die

Oh yes, Dear Gawd (New Orleans speak for G*D), I think I’m going to die! Day 3 of no sugar, no flour, no grains… Oh wait… there’s a tiny bit of sugar in my tomato soup and a little in the two cough drops I had in the middle of the night… but other than that, I think I’ve been towing the line. I’m not counting fruit right now because then I’d surely be dead. I had an apple today and a couple of prunes… and a clementine. 

I can’t tell if I’m actually getting sick or if the withdrawals and the toxins leaving my system are to blame. I don’t have a fever so I’m erring on the side of the toxins. Holy Smokes am I cranky… and tired… and my head is pounding, my throat is itchy… I have post nasal drip… and my favorite, parts of my cheeks and mouth tingle and go numb from time to time throughout the day. I’m such a pretty picture that my Husband is probably grateful to be caught up in Snowmageddon. (He’s a meteorologist) He’s been spared my oh-so-pleasant company today. At one point, the thought of chewing anything made my head hurt more, so there was lots of soup/chili today. 

My blood sugars have been running on the low side all day, 79-84, so I decided to skip my nightime meds (Metformin). Should be fine.

I’m equally amazed at the intensity of the physical symptoms and the sheer idiocy of having done this to myself in the first place. This is one of those things that I need to NEVER forget because I sure don’t want to do it again! 

So, my friends, I’m hanging in there and the support I’ve gotten has been tremendously helpful. I appreciate it more than you know. 

And with that, I’m taking my cranky, irritable self… and my sanity-saving Chocolate Peppermint Herbal Tea (Paleo friendly… promise!) up to my room to snuggle in my favorite chair and read more of It Starts With Food. 🙂