Happy Thursday

It’s been a busy, busy couple of weeks and I feel like I haven’t had much to say about any one topic. I do, however, have lots of little things to say.

Since I’ve been here last, obesity has now officially been declared a disease. I’m shaking my head. Having spent time working in an alcohol/drug addiction treatment facility that used the AA model, I was indoctrinated that Alcoholism is a disease… that any kind of addiction was a disease. I guess it isn’t too far of a leap then to say obesity is a disease since most people don’t get obese without an addiction to food. I’m just not able to wrap my head around it. Saying that I have the disease of obesity feels wrong on every level. Thinking of it as a disease takes away my personal power and my personal responsibility. I can’t cure a great and powerful disease. I need to go to doctors and nutritionists and really smart people with lots of letters after their names to cure a disease. It makes me feel more like a victim, unable to help myself.

I think I understand one of the reasons why they (whoever made up the committee) did it. Classifying obesity as a disease opens up a lot of doors to people seeking a medical solution by forcing insurance companies to pay for treatments and procedures not usually covered. Think of the money drug companies alone will make on new drugs. On the other hand, it is my understanding that the people on the committee were in the bariatric field, so the more people who have surgery, the more money they get.

I certainly don’t know the answer, but I know that I am responsible for the condition that I’m in and I’m the one responsible for getting me healthy again. No doctor or nutritionist is going to give me a magic pill or do it for me. I don’t ever want to be a sad, frumpy woman in the corner, victim to this horrible obesity disease.

So, how am I doing with this new horrible obesity disease… 😉  I’m doing fine. My eating is somewhat back on track, but there’s still some tightening that needs to happen. A bit too much sugar slips in here and there… and today, at the movies… well, there was popcorn. I haven’t had popcorn in probably a year, and it was a movie… and I know, no excuses!

The exercise front is going well. I’m consistently at the box 3 days a week and I’m still getting stronger. I can see different muscles getting more defined. Oh, sure, they are still covered in fat, but I’m getting there. We did something the other day that just about killed me! In the nearly eight months that I’ve been doing Crossfit, I have never been as sore as the week after doing a 10 rep max on back squats. Oh holy heck was I sore! Now… I can’t wait to do it again. The weight didn’t seem that high (155#) but it was the reps that got me!

And today…. today I started the Couch 25k program!!! Yay! I’ve been talking about it for several months, and today, I did it! Week 1, Day 1 went very well. I was able to evenly breathe through my nose the entire time. My plan is to do it on my non-Crossfit days to help build up my endurance. I must run slower on a treadmill than in real life because my times seemed way off. The heat index today was 101, so a treadmill was the only way this program was going to happen. Maybe Saturday won’t be as bad and I can run outside. I keep joking that I’m training for the Krispy Kreme Doughnut 5k. By the time you stop at each doughnut station, you’ve eaten a full dozen when you get to the end. lol! Funny… but not for me. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’d LOVE to eat a dozen doughnuts… but that defeats the whole purpose, no?

I still haven’t gotten on the scale. At first, it was because my self esteem couldn’t take the hit right before my parents visited. Lately, it’s because I’m pretty sure no number is going to be good enough. When I say I’m hoping to lose 5 pounds from last time, that’s not really true. I’m hoping to lose 10 pounds. If I say 10, well I’m really, deep down inside hoping to lose 15… and if by some miracle I did hit 15, I’d be mad that it wasn’t 16. I think so much time has passed (6 or 7 weeks) that no number on the scale will make me happy. I can tell you that it doesn’t FEEL like I’ve lost much weight in the last 2 months, so that alone is enough to keep me from stepping on that evil little box. No good can come from that. I am happy that my pants are a bit looser than last month. From that, I know I’m heading in the right direction. I have to go back to the endo the end of July so I might just hold off all the way until then and let her scale be my official weight.

So, that’s it… nothing big and nothing important… just the ramblings of someone trying to get healthy. Happy Thursday!


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