Returned home from vacation a little weary and in desperate need of a re-boot… emotionally, nutritionally, and physically. As much as I tried to eat well and exercise while on vacation, it just wasn’t good enough. By the end, my Husband was asking me if I was alright because I just wasn’t myself. I wasn’t. I could feel the depression creeping in, looking for chinks in the armor, seeping into my head. I was emotionally drained and tired. Everything was becoming an effort. I was losing joy. We all know about the connection between depression and exercise, but I’ve never personally experienced such a direct link. I’ll be honest here, I’ve taken anti-depressants more than a few times in my adult life, mostly to get through difficult life events, but also for a few years or more at a time. Eight months ago I decided to go off of my anti-depressant. Things have been really great, better than great. I’ve actually be able to experience that old saying about exercise being the best anti-depressant. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt better. Two weeks of vacation and erratic exercise definitely threw me for a loop. Making my regular crossfit class this week has already made such a difference. I feel completely back to normal and ready to tackle the hectic school year.
Nutritionally, things needed to be cleaned up and it took me a few extra days to do it. There were too many bites of this and bites of that… and getting back into the habit of making school lunches at night and snacking on the items that I was packing up for the kids. I’m working on making their lunches a little earlier in the evening so I’m not so tempted. Last night was successful so I’m going to try to build on that. My digestive system is still suffering a bit from my vacation… um… hoping it’s all going to work itself out… literally… and soon! :paperbag: I’ve been taking something to help my good/bad bacteria get back in balance.
Physically, it was hard to replicate the intensity of a good Crossfit workout. I’m not very good about exercising on my own, and faced with a room full of equipment and treadmills, I’m just not going to get it done. There was also an issue of being overweight and getting access to the gyms. Did I write about that here… the guy who looked me up and down and basically a thought bubble popped up over his head asking what the heck a fat chick is doing going into his gym and what the heck did I know about exercise. The worst part about the whole thing was that it rocked my confidence to the core, though now that I’m back in my regular environment and my routine, it feels more like a blip on the radar. I’m sorry that it kept me from exploring Crossfit gyms in the area I was visiting. After that, I just couldn’t force my overweight self to go into a Crossfit gym with strangers. It’s one thing to be last with your friends cheering you on… it’s another to be visiting a gym where people don’t know how far I’ve come… and be last and feel like a failure. Introversion wins again! 🙄
So, speaking of how far I’ve come, I received a phone call today from my health insurance company. They wanted to enroll me in their program to help me manage my diabetes, set some goals, and check back in with me every month or so. The lady asked about what I thought some good beginner goals should be. ROFLMAO! Um… okay…. but I have to tell you (the lady) that I’m off all but one of my meds, my glucose levels are completely normal, my A1c is completely normal, I vigorously exercise 3-4 days a week, I eat Paleo most of the time, I’ve lost probably 40+ pounds of fat, gained about 20 pounds of muscle, and since I’ve been doing all of this for nearly 10 months, I’m not sure what else I could possibly do or set as a new goal. lol! She was at a loss as well and decided that she would just put me in the “monitoring” category and send me a letter every few months in case anything changed or had any questions for their nurses or nutritionists. This might have been the best call of my life!!! Lol!!! When I was off the phone, I realized that I’d forgotten to add that I’m also competing in a weight lifting competition in October. And while I’m slightly annoyed that my health insurance company is checking up on me and being rather intrusive, I’m amused that I got to say really cool things and feel like one of the cool kids for a bit.
Oh yes… and that weightlifting competition… I’ll write more about that later… but yes, there really IS an upcoming Crossfit competition I signed up for… oh help me now!!!