Today, someone made a comment about feeling like he was working out with a weighted vest. It resonated with me, deeply. My “weighted vest” is at least 60 pounds, probably closer to 70 if you catch me on a more honest day. I’ve spend the afternoon wondering what it’s going to be like to not have my weighted vest. How will I move differently? Will it be easier to get up off the floor, up from chairs, in and out of cars… especially those little tiny cars that are so close to the ground. 70 pounds is heavy! If I had to live with 70 extra pounds on my shoulders, I would be in serious trouble. Even the simplest tasks would be exhausting.
Just thinking about what it would be like to work out at 70 pounds lighter is almost unimaginable! Will I finally get a pull up? Will I finally get a handstand push up? Will the pain my shoulder disappear? Will I still be able to make big lifts??? I’ve always been told that mass moves mass… although to be honest, I’d give up my big lifts in a heartbeat to experience life as a normal sized person.
Living 70 pounds lighter… I simply have no concept of what it will be like. I wonder if I will EVER know what that’s like. I am hopeful, but some days I get so discouraged. My one year anniversary is next month, and I’m sure I’ll talk about this further at some point, but I honestly thought it would only take a year to turn my life around. In retrospect, that seems silly. I don’t live in Biggest Loser land, can’t exercise 6-8 hours a day, and eat far too much food, albeit mostly “real” food, than I should. Life keeps getting crazy and sometimes it’s really hard to keep the focus on my quest for health. There are precious few hours in the day that are “mine” and I do try to make the most of them, but the reality of my life is that I’m not the focus… and my quest for health often takes a back seat to the day to day needs of the kids, their transportation, their homework (2+ hours a night!), and laundry/meals/cleaning, etc. Let’s throw in a Government shut-down and no paycheck to up the stress level, and I’m an unfocused basketcase. It’s ironic that at the very moment I’m experiencing “Success,” I feel like such a failure.
So, I wonder, as I’m closing in on the one year mark… how far away are my goals… when will I start seeing progress again (Translation: Will I ever fit into smaller pants and LOOK like a Crossfitter?)… and will I ever experience life without a 70 pound weighted vest???