Wake Up Call Yesterday

Went to the doctor yesterday. Honestly, I was dreading it. While I had lots of really great things to tell her (new lifts, the competition, the snatch video), I also knew that my bloodwork was taken just a few days after Halloween and I’d blown it. It was as I expected. Nothing was bad, but all of my numbers were a few points in the wrong direction compared to last time. There were tiny slips all over the place. It was very clear that the last three months were not as Paleo as the three months before and it was time to get serious again. It scared me. I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to be the way I was. I don’t want lose my motivation, my committment. I don’t want to be weak again. And let’s face it, my end game is still to be smaller… and I have a long way to go. I can’t afford to go backwards.

Yesterday, I took control again. It was a great day regarding nutrition, and it just happened to be a two workout day, first one ever. Since it worked out that way, I went for it, the Wod in the morning, the Oly gym in the evening. It was fun and I wish I could do that more often… and I’ll admit, my hip flexors are a bit tender this morning. Good news, I did a 5rm backsquat at 100 kilos (220#).

I didn’t really want to write this, but my intention was to be honest about what it’s really like trying to get healthy. Clearly, it’s not a straight road and some parts (exercise) are easier than others (eating). This is where I am right now… struggling with the nutrition and eating part. It seems I’ve been struggling with the nutrition and eating part my whole life. Not giving up yet…


I Feel Like I Have a Secret Life

My online friends will think this is crazy, because I do little else than talk about CrossFit, my kids, and post endless pictures of my pets. However, my real life friends, the people I see day in and day out, have no idea what I do in CrossFit. They might have heard me mention it… and I occasionally drop a bomb about a lift total or being sore from a workout… but for the most part, they know very little about my CrossFit life. I try not to talk about it too much, in real life.

This weekend, I went to a Cub Scout function and one of the guys there is a serious runner. I joked about when he’s going to come over to CrossFit, and mentioned my 265 back squat. Another gentleman overheard and he whipped his head around so fast I think his neck might hurt. lol. He just looked at me… I know what he was thinking… no way can SHE lift that much. Let’s face it, I still don’t look like a fit person… but the guy was nice and joked about probably not being able to lift that much himself.

It’s sort of weird that my Mom friends and neighbor friends just don’t know about all these cool and wonderful things I get to do, and I can’t really even tell them about it. They aren’t interested. They don’t understand. It’s so far off their radars that it doesn’t register. Sometimes I keep quiet for other reasons… big girl lifting big weights… not something that gets a lot of positive press.

So, while I never seem to shut up about CrossFit online, my real life, outside of my box friends, is pretty mum and I often feel like I have a whole other secret life… and mostly, that makes me smile. 🙂

Yesterday, I had a DNF… Did Not Finish! That did NOT make me smile! My second one… and I thought about it all night. I think I know what happened. It was all psychological… It’s okay… I can do that… I’m an actual Shrink! lol! First problem was that it was a Hero Wod on a Holiday. That’s intimidating to begin with. The last Hero Wod I did on a holiday was way back in the beginning and I didn’t finish. I did 70% of Murph and that was that. I was still a newbie. This time, I sort of set myself up by focusing on how difficult Hero Wods are. Add in my anxiety about being pathetically last… really last… like over 10 minutes after everyone else is done… last… and I just freaked.

We were doing Omar… and I did:

10 Thrusters (55#)
15 Burpees
20 Thrusters
25 Burpees
30 Thrusters
…… and stopped. I was feeling a bit dizzy. I think my blood sugar was dropping a bit from not eating enough… but I should have just plowed through and sucked it up. Yes, I would have been pathetically last by 10 minutes or more… but I should have done it anyway. I was embarrassed and I was very angry with myself… so… when most people left, I did those last 35 Burpees off in the corner by myself. Yay!!! I just had to do them. No way I was going to walk out of that door without doing them. I might have blown the workout… and there might have been a 15 minute break between the last set of thrusters and the last set of burpees… but I did them! 🙂 Next time, I need to not freak myself out and just get on with it. So what if I’m pathetically last in front of people I don’t know… just get it done! Will someone remind me of this when the next major Hero Wod comes around??? Thanks! 🙂

Want To See My Snatch?


lol! No, no… get your minds out of the gutter, people. The Snatch is a rather complicated Olympic Lift that, I’m told, takes years to master. I have certainly NOT mastered it yet (elbows… yes, I see them not bending properly… my squat should be lower!), but overall, I don’t think it’s too bad.

Please be kind. It’s really hard for me to post this. While I am happy with how far I’ve come with CrossFit, I’m still so very unhappy with how little it seems I’ve come personally, and how I look. I also have major issues with how unfeminine society perceives this, even those closest to me, and how girls just are NOT supposed to do it and are certainly NOT supported for it.

So… let’s hope I don’t regret this…

It Ends With a BANG!

I thought it would go out with a whimper. My first full year of CrossFit ended yesterday. The big event, my present, the highlight, was a couple of weeks ago, that awesome Festivus Thruster, and I fully expected to just coast through the rest of my first year, eagerly looking forward to the next. (Holy run-on sentence, Batman!) It didn’t happen that way. What happened??? Well… I knocked my socks off!!!

CrossFit Total was yesterday, the last day of my first year… fitting because my very first day of CrossFit was also CrossFit Total. I have to say, I was a bit nervous going in. I’d taken 5 weeks off from doing anything overhead to let my shoulder heal. I’d also switched all back squats to front squats because it hurt to get my shoulder in the right position. Frankly, I wasn’t expecting much. I did decide to do the Total out of order. My Deadlift had been stalled at 235# for about 6 months and I really wanted to concentrate on that, especially since I was expecting a poor back squat.

Let me stop here for a second and reiterate, I’m a Book Nerd… a geek… not the cool sciency/math type… but the rather plain and boring book type. My incredibly poor math skills are important for our story. Now…

So, I’m throwing weights on the deadlift… lift, add, lift, add. I sorta knew how much weight was on there, but it’s always best if I don’t know. My awesome coach is keeping track, making sure I’m safe and correcting a couple of form issues…. and BAM, I finally hit a wall and can’t lift one more thing… and my coach comes over and tells me how much weight I really had on the bar. 275#!!! Holy Batman and Robin!!! I had no idea! I added wrong and thought I was in the neighborhood of 240-250. I hit a 40# pr!!! There was a little cheering (okay… maybe it was just me cheering!) and some pats on the back!!! It was unbelievable!

Next, I head over to do the rack for a strict standing press. I am rehabbing my shoulder. It’s getting better. I’m finally going back overhead without pain so I wasn’t expecting much here. My last CrossFit Total I was only able to get 85#. My personal best was 105#, but that was a year ago and it’s been holding steady, or going down, ever since. Slow and steady… the numbers went up. I topped out at 110#!!!! Coming off of an injury, I was FLOORED!!! It’s a 5# pr! I’ll take it!!! 🙂

Finally, the back squat… again, lift, add, lift, add. Frankly, I had no idea how much weight I had on the bar. I didn’t stop to count, and let’s be honest, I usually have to triple count to get it right and I didn’t want to take the time. My awesome coach came over just as I was adding a set of #15’s on there, and he double checked my last pr… and said he was going to spot me on the lift… ALL clues that maybe I was in shaky territory and possibly in over my head. Well, my roots are dishwater blonde so I missed it and just happily went on with my lift. I was stuck coming back up. It felt like an eternity, but probably was only a second or two… and then I pushed through my hips… and finished the lift! I still had no idea what it was, thinking it might have been 245 or so. My coach finally told me… 265#!!! Holy Smokes!!! I could NOT believe I just did that, a 30# pr. I never would have made that kind of jump if I could actually do math! lol!!! Sometimes, ignorance IS bliss!!! This time, there really WAS cheering and high fives and all kinds of excitement (probably still mostly from me)… but I was floored! I didn’t expect it… it was my last lift of the day… and it was brilliant!

Since my first and last day of this past year were both CrossFit Total days, I’m able to see exactly what’s changed in the last year. I’ve already talked about all the chemical changes… and still, the lack of real physical changes (i.e. my pant size!)… but now I can tell you how much stronger I’ve gotten over the last year. It’s unbelievable. It’s freaky unbelievable.

Back Squat, Day 1… 105#
Back Squat, Now… 265# (160# difference!!!)

Strict Press, Day 1… 105#
Strict Press, Now… 110# (5# difference. Apparently, I was always freaky strong in shoulder lifts, likely from the twins!)

Dead Lift, Day 1… 135#
Dead Lift, Now… 275# (140# difference!)

Total Day 1… 345#
Total Now… 650#

My CrossFit Total went up 305# in a year!!!

Are you as SHOCKED as I am??? Those numbers are amazing! I know that it won’t ever be this way again. You just can’t make these big number leaps from here on out… but I’m sure I’ll still be making some leaps this next year… and I can’t wait! 🙂

Today is Day 1 of my Second Year in CrossFit! Time to work on some weaknesses (endurance/sprints) and work more on my diet. It’s going to be a GREAT year!!! 🙂