And I’m sorry to say, the entire store still intimidates the heck out of me. It does. My anxiety starts rising the minute I realize I need to go there for something. In fact, I actually put on lipstick before heading into the store… because that’s going to offer me some sort of defense??? Crazy. The entire event was an exercise in anxiety and frustration. Walking in the door is difficult. There is NOTHING in the store… not one thing… in their clothing section that could remotely fit me. I’ve looked. My Hubs has looked. I often feel like screaming, “FAT PEOPLE WORK OUT TOO, ya know… we’re not all lazy bums eating chips on the couch all day!!!” But, apparently, it’s frowned upon to yell things like that in public. So, I quickly walk past the clothing section, looking straight ahead. I head straight to the bikes to look for a helmet. My choices were green, gray, or white. I have a purple bike… so no helmet for me today. Internet, it is.
Next, I head on over to the shoe section to look at the adorable pink Reebok lifting shoes… sooooo cute…. and the entire time I’m there, I have imaginary people in my head, wondering why someone like me… you know… f-a-t… could possibly need lifting shoes or nanos. In reality, there wasn’t anyone around to help me, so I probably wasn’t being judged at all. I did have to ask someone where I could find some tape. She was pretty distracted, and not very helpful, but did point me in the general direction. The shoes had to wait… I was only getting tape today.
Made my way to the tape section, past those awful, horrible, completely adorable clothes that I don’t have a prayer of fitting in to… 😦 and ended up in team sports. I finally had to ask someone else about the tape… does everyone who works there have to be perfect people who look like they work out??? Turns out, they are out of tape and won’t have more until tomorrow. How does a sports store sell out of tape??? More frustration and it means I’m going to have to go back.
I do realize it’s mostly in my head. My Hubs was with me (’cause I sure wasn’t going in that store by myself!) and he was baffled when I mentioned how intimidated I was… not exactly being the poster child for physical fitness. He just calmly pointed out all of the things I can do and how far I’ve come… and that makes me exactly the poster child for physical fitness and changing my life. He’s a good man. 🙂
Speaking of changing my life… I started out the year well… Fight Gone Bad… 199 reps. Yep… one stinking rep away from 200. Sigh. Next year, I’m shooting for 300! It was a great way to ring in the new year and I hope you all started out your new year as happily as I started mine.
Happy New Years!!!